My last picture before I was told I had cancer... heavily sedated 🤣

The beginning.

This all started in June 2020 I had a few episodes where I went to the toilet for a Bowel movement and there was no stools there it was just bright red blood and blood clots.  This happened a few times I told my husband Scott and my Sister who was a big snitch and told my dad. Obviously I wasn't happy to get a lecture from my Dad (I was 32 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣) who said I had to get it checked out, so that's what I did I called my gp who said I could only have a phone call appointment due to Covid. 
I had my appointment told the dr my symptoms and was told I had internal hemeroids (no examination) and was given suppositories. I did use them a few times everything calmed down for a month then started again. I was told exactly the same thing by a different dr this time I decided I wasn't doing the suppositories if it was just going to Come back they obviously arnt very nice to have to do. 
For the next year I continued to have a few more episodes like the first one it was only when it was a year on that it happened nearly everyday for a week. 
So on my 33rd birthday I decided I would push for a face to face appointment with my drs. 
This appointment I wasn't  fobbed off I had an internal examination done... yes it was a little uncomfortable but not once did I feel embarrassed my dr spoke to me during the whole thing comforting me and talking me through what she was doing. I was then sent for blood test and asked to do a stool sample. My dr had informed me that she wanted me to do a FIT test but because of my age I wasnt aloud to do one .My dr never once mentioned the C word she was concerned about inflammatory Bowel disease. 
Off I went for blood test and to do my sample. During this time I had made the decision not to tell my family, Scott knew and we discussed it and decided it was best not to worry everyone if there was nothing to worry about. 
A week later I had a phone call to say I was anemic and given iron tablets the dr I spoke to on the phone told me all other test came back fine but I should see the same gp that sent me for test to discuss the results. 
My gp had gone on holiday for 3 weeks there was no way I was waiting 3 weeks so I decided to start again. 
Luckiky the dr I saw made a few phone calls after doing another internal examination and pushed for me to have a FIT test done and more bloods. 
I done the FIT test and 2 days later got the call to say my test came back positive and I was being fast tracked to have a colonoscopy to check for Bowel cancer or IBD I would be seen within 2 weeks. 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bowel-cancer-screening/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/inflammatory-bowel-disease/

Now it was time to tell our families what was going on as anyone would do they all said not to worry and it would just be IBD. I honestly thought that it would be this too so on the 7th august I started my prep for my colonoscopy. 
Well the prep was the worst thing about the colonoscopy it was horrific I had to drink 2 and half litres of moviprep laxative  which tasted so vile I was sick everywhere, then the obvious happened after taking a laxative I don't think I left the toilet for about 5 hours 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️ 
On the 8th august Scott dropped me off for my colonoscopy I had to have a sedative so I couldn't drive myself. The procedure was straight forward didn't hurt was a little uncomfortable but the sedative they gave me helped. As I was wheeled out and taken into recovery I was told by the nurse that the person who had performed my colonoscopy would come and see me before I left.  
There I was sat in the bed eating a ham sandwich reading my book thinking that she was going to say there was nothing there. I would love to go back to that moment of my life being care free and normal. 

Finally they told me I could get dressed and go home but I had to wait to speak them first. Then a nurse came out called me into the room where Tracy (I think that's her name it was a blur) the lady who did the colonoscopy was sat. The nurse then said the dreaded sentence "is your husband here with you? I will just go and fetch him" I then turned to Tracy and said it's not good news is it that's why you have gone to get my husband she answered something about me being sedated so it was best he came in. 

There we was told that I had cancer in the rectum I dont really know what happened after that other than crying hysterically asking if I'm going to die whilst my husband sat at my feet trying to resure me it would be ok but not able to look at me for crying too much. 
I was then given a blue box with lots of leaflets in and told a colorectal nurse would be in touch for me to have MRIs and scans then I would probably have my tumour removed. 
Then we had the journey home where I couldn't stop crying or apologising for the fact that I didn't push the drs sooner and that I had cancer......

I HAVE CANCER