The week before my holiday I got the go ahead that I was booked in for surgery I was finally going to get my bag removed and stoma. I'm booked in for the 26th July, I'm very nervous about this surgery I think it's because I'm not sure how my bowels going to be afterwards a lot of people just tell the horror story's of these things so that's all iv read. Things like you have lots of accidents and are on the toilet all the time. Luckily the children will be on their summer holidays so I can be at home and won't hopefully get caught out 🤦🏼‍♀️😳. So now to just prepare and get packed again for another hospital stay not looking forward to it being hot in there. The only plus this time is that Scott can come and visit me. 

We finally made it on our holiday it was amazing!!! 
I was concerned about my stoma bag on the plane but it was fine I did find though that my output was thick because I did take a loperamide. So next time I would take some water to put down the toilet at the same time to clear it easier. 
Going through security was fine I did get stopped on the way out because I'd forgotten to take my radar key out my bag. But I didn't get searched or anything.  We did have the special assistance for Matthew so everything was a little quicker. I was very panicked about the flight the children had never been on a plane and I was unsure how Matthew would be due to his autism new things can be very hard for him to cope with.  Well he was fine until he got on the plane and all the noises and movement started and he got very scared and anxious.  He was shouting and screaming as we took off but after that calmed down and was fine to look out the window. Even for the landing he was fine and the girls were absolutely fine too. Considering there was 15 of us it was a easy flight and transfer to the hotel was quick 25 minutes and we was there.  
We went to Crete in goves it was lovely small hotel where we had the pool to ourselves nearly the whole time. I had brought some high waisted bikinis that covered my stoma bag you couldn't tell I had a stoma bag at all. By now I was fine eating most things too there was only a few things that I wouldn't eat like sweet corn or fish with bones and nuts. But everything else I could have which was amazing because we had gone all inclusive.  I did drink beer too which I hadn't had before I had gone away as I was told it would be really gassy but it wasn't my bag and output was fine. 
We had so much fun and made lots of memories we went swimming in the pool and the sea which I had been worried about.  Only once did my bag fill with pool water but I just made sure I laid down to put my bag on so there was no creases and it was fine the rest of the time. The flight home was absolutely fine we were delayed by 1 hour and 45 minutes we did sit on the runway for about 20 minutes and I did have to ask to use the toilet to empty my bag which they did let me. Everyone  was tired so everyone slept on the way home. It was a lovely holiday and so nice for the children to have the experience for a big family holiday with their cousins.
I did have a scan the day before we went away that I am still waiting for the results for 6 weeks on. 
So I'm still waiting to find out what the next stage of my treatment is other than my surgery on the 26th which I'm hoping that I can recover quickly from being as the children will be on 6 week holidays from school.  

Once we were home the news broke that Dame Deborah James(bowel babe) had died this did make me very sad and I did cry lots for her and her family. She's a massive loss to the cancer community and the Bowel cancer community for all the help and awareness she has made for Bowel cancer.  I was very down for a few days as it's a reminder of how fragile life is and similar my diagnosis was to Deborahs when she was diagnosed. I do just feel very grateful that I'm in a positive position at the minute. 

im sat here finishing up this page whilst waiting to go down for my reversal surgery I'm feeling very nervous but hopefull that I can recover quickly and be home ASAP.  Now to get used to life with out a stoma and bag again 😳.