After that appointment we got the kids and went home it took us a few hours to tell the family. I couldn't speak with out crying for ages all I could think was that this was my worst fear .From when ever I had children I always had this fear that the same thing would happen to my children as it did me, my mum died when I was five..now here I am and my youngest is five and iv been told I will die from cancer but no one knows when. This has taken a lot for me to get past that I won't die straight away and I will be here to see them grow up(everything crossed).  That part may have been hard for my family to read considering when I speak to them im the most positive and normally telling them that everything will be ok. Some days are hard but mostly I am positive.