Sorry for the silence everyone there's been a lot going on....

It all started in may, I had been pretty well had started going to the gym I felt really good. I thought I would start the gym so I could keep my strength up for chemo ect. Every single time I went to the gym or used the swimming pool I got sick after a few weeks I got a viral infection I went to the drs and he gave me antibiotics I rested up for a few days and felt better.  A few days after I got tonsillitis I went to the drs and he gave me more antibiotics I felt absolutely awful, then Scott started to get poorly I think he picked up my viral infection. 
We had planned to go to Plymouth to see family and Scott had a 10k run that he wanted to do there. 
We had a lovely Saturday at the beach with my sister and her family the kids loved seeing their cousins and had so much fun. We went back to my Dads house and settled down for dinner he had gone to a gig which we wanted to go to but Scott was feeling really unwell and michelle  was away with her new choir so we had the house to ourselves which was lovely being as we didn't feel great. 
We headed up to the cottage where me, Scott and Matthew were sleeping, Elizabeth had decided she wanted to stay in there with us because she wanted to try out the double bed so I said I would sleep with Matthew in the pull out bed. As I was about to get into bed I felt a pain in my shoulder like I had a trapped nerve (this was the beginning of a nightmare) I didn't sleep all night I tossed and turned trying every position to get rid of the pain. Eventually I got up to get some paracetamol and hot water bottle. As I opened the hot water bottle there was a pain in my wrist I which made it very difficult to hold. 
Scott woke up at 6 and I explained to him how much pain I was in I was in tears at this point he tried to massage the trapped nerve pain out but it didn't work. Whilst he showered I went down to dads house where yet again I got another massage but nothing was taking the pain away. 
Whilst I got myself ready for the hot tub Scott and my Dad decided it was best that he dropped Scott into town for his run and I'd stay behind trying to relax in the hot tub before going to see him finish his run. By the time dad came back I felt a little better managed to get dressed ready to go and watch Scott finish. I still had pain in my shoulder that just wouldn't go and every time I clapped for a runner speeding past my hand really hurt. 
Eventually Scott finished his race I was surprised he managed it as fast as he did because he felt so unwell, he had a little rest and we carried on with the day and went out for dinner. 
I was still feeling rough so decided to have an early night, we had decided that I'd go to urgent care when we got home everyone was convinced I had been bitten by something being as my hand was now starting to swell. 
We got home after a 5 hour drive took a little longer than usual but I slept most the way. Scott dropped me off at urgent care before taking the kids home and I said Ill ring when I know what's going on. I was now convinced id broken my wrist the pain was awful I have broken my wrist before and the pain was nearly identical. 
The nurse there sent me for an x ray, she said there's no breaks they thought it was  a ganglion cyst that had burst I was sent home with a sling and told to keep it elevated. 
The next day I was due in for chemo, whilst I waited to be set up I showed my nurse my hand that was now a lot more swollen than before. She had 3 other nurses look who all decided that it would be ok for me to go ahead with chemo they hadn't seen anything like it before.  So I had my chemo and was given my usual anti sickness and steroid tablets. As soon as I had my steroids the swelling went down and my hand was feeling a lot better I was back driving and doing everything fine.  
my steroids stopped  on the Friday come Sunday morning I was in agony, Scott had a run so I drove him to that but I couldn't drive home the pain was getting worse.  Luckily I had some oramorph at home so I took some of that and tried to distract myself from the pain. In the end I was sobbing asking Scott to drive me to a&e, when we arrived they said there was a 4-5 hour wait. They didn't have anywhere for me to wait away from people and because I had just had chemo I wasn't happy to wait in a really busy a&e there was people spittle on the floor it was that busy.  So I made Scott pick me up. Once I got home a dr called me to tell me to come back they had found an empty corridor for me to sit in and someone would see me soon. 
I was called after 2.5 hours luckily my friend Lauren and her mum had come down to keep me company!! 
I was called in and told I had to have blood cultures done the nurse refused to use my port so had the difficulty of trying to find a vein it was agonising considering she was using the hand that was swollen. 
Eventually she got the blood she needed with out me or Lauren passing out 😂🤦🏼‍♀️  I was then put into a room where I had to wait to be admitted to the short stay unit. 
It was along wait with a few mcmillen nurses poping into see me to make sure it wasn't chemo related. 
Finally I was out I got he short stay unit I had a lot of drs come round to see me a few said it's arthritis but a few said it was an infection. So I was treated for an infection put on iv antibiotics with morphine and iv paracetamol every 4 hours. I was really poorly I couldn't even feed myself both hands were so swollen and now my foot had swelling and redness. Luckily Scott came in most days to shower me andAfter a few days they said I had to have a joint aspiration because the swelling wouldn't go down.  I can tell you now I have never felt something so uncomfortable in my life it did hurt but it was a different kind of pain that I can only describe as uncomfortable.  They get a needle and insert it into your joint then scrape samples off you bone or they can take samples of liquid that's in there.  It took about 10 minutes because there was actually any liquid they could get. When I looked at the sample I was shocked to see it looked the flesh I was expecting liquid. It was horrific and I was so shaken up afterwards it took me ages to calm down I actually felt traumatised from it. 
It took a few days for the samples to be tested and the results came back that there wasn't an infection that left them baffled. Luckily it was bank holiday weekend and because I could move around a little the hospital said that I could go home for a few hours a day over the weekend I think to make it easier on the nurses, there wasn't a lot of them in I suppose because it was bank holiday. 
It was lovely to go home for a few hours and sit in the sun but it did make me realise I really wasnt well enough to be home yet I was in a lot of pain and couldn't do anything for myself. 
Thankdully because of the bank holiday I had a different doctor come round he was shocked  as to why I was still here he had seen me on the first day I came in and was sure it was arthritis. He was angry that I was still in so much pain i explained to him that due to being on morphine for a long time it didn't have the same effect that it does on people who havnt had it, I had explained that to the nurses but they said they had to follow the instructions of the drs and couldn't up it. Off he went to the nurses station and shouted at them that they should be listening to their patients and from now on as long as it wouldn't cause me to overdose they should up my morphine and paracetamol iv so I was comfortable. 
I was so happy I would finally get some sleep he also said he was going to push for rheumatology to come and see me as he was certain I had reactive arthritis.  I felt so relieved that some one was finally doing something. Don't get me wrong I did see drs most days but they didn't fill me with hope that they had any clue about what was wrong.  
the good dr had told me that whilst I was in there I was to stick up for myself it gave me a bit of a boost to use my voice. The whole time I was there they were prodding me daily more than once for bloodsy veins were battered so I decided to refuse to have any more needles and wanted them to access my port. I finally saw a familiar face the nurse who had fitted my picc line had come to chat to me about getting my port accessed she agreed with me why go through the surgery if know one's going to use it!! They did listen and everyday someone different who could draw blood from a port it really isn't hard to do because the needle stays in for up to 7 days. 
The dr from rheumatology came to see me and was certain that I had reactive arthritis from where my body couldn't fight of the infection from the viral infection and tonsillitis I was put on a high dose of steroids and move to the oncology ward. 
I was very apprehensive about moving on the short stay ward I knew it was what was in the name a short stay now they were moving me to a different ward I hoped I would be in very long.  The ward I was on in the ssu was lovely the nurses would chat away and I had a lady in my ward who was so nice and chatty it made the days go a little faster. The new ward I was put on was horrible the children weren't aloud in and the nurses hardly spoke to you there was a door on the ward that was closed all day so it was also very quiet.  The ladies on there were lovely but weren't  very chatty and it was a ward full of cancer patients so made me feel very down hearing all their stories.  I never once really felt down about my cancer diagnosis I was always very positive that we had a plan and was living with cancer not letting it over take me.  Being on this ward was just a reminder that I do actually have stage 4 cancer that is killing me and I spent most my days in tears and very down with the added arthritis.  I just couldn't wait to be home now, I was a lot more mobile and determined to do things by myself I was begging my dr each morning she came round to let me go.  Scott had told them that he would be there and would shower me ect. I had borrowed a wheelchair from my friend so i could get around. She said that we would have one more day to monitor my steriods I was on 8 steroids a day and antibiotics.  The next morning she came around and was happy I WAS GOING HOME I was so happy. But I'm sure most of you know a discharge isn't quick from hospital I finally left at 6. I was discharged with all the instructions I needed for my medication and an order from Dr to have a wine 🤣. 
It took a while to get used being at home I really couldn't do anything myself I couldn't shower, walk up or down the stairs, make a drink sinme things like flushing the toilet because my hands and feet were still so sore and swollen. The steroids were definitely making a difference but they told me each week I had to take one less tablet which was causing me a lot of pain still  so I was advised to up the amount again and come if one every 2 weeks   After a month or two I was feeling more like me I could walk and do things for myself again.  I still have days where I have pain the weather doesn't help and my fingers on my right hand havnt straightened out  but I'm happy that im managing to live with arthritis which I didn't think was possible whilst I was in hospital. 
Im so thankful for my husband Scott for looking after me and keeping the house running. His been amazing at being mum and dad. He had to stop working so he could look after us all which has been a massive sacrifice. I think it's been so hard on him worse so maybe having to see me in pain and not knowing what was going on and for having to take over both our job roles  

 

whilst I'm on here I will give a quick update on my cancer having been off chemo since may(i wasn't well enough)  my cancer has grown and iv got new growths so I'm now being put forward for a clinical trial in the university of London hospital  I don't know anything about it yet but be sure I will put an update up on here when I do know and I will document it to help others (this has since been cancelled so will know more in a few weeks) 

Thank you all for reading it's been a bloody long one, sorry it has taken me so long to update on here but it has been a very traumatic experience and I wasn't ready to re live it all. 
I hope this helps someone please share with other who you think it could benefit!!